Advice U Seek -
With Psychic Counselor
Sharyn LeMasurier

August 2009

Hello Sharyn,

I trust that you and yours are well. My name is Charles Rizzo, born in Watsonville, California on May 11th 1961. I am living in Perth, Western Australia. I am 47, single and never had a steady girlfriend or lover. I am told that I am a lovely man, with good morals and values. I choose the end result of a most amazing and LOVING relationship with the woman of my heart who is in great health in her SPIRIT mind and body. I enjoy working with people who are willing to create what they love. This is what I love to create. Am I on the right path? Thanking you, so very much.

~ Chaz Rizzo ~

Hi Chaz,

What a delight to get your email all the way from Australia. Thank you for writing. Regarding the joy you currently have found in your life through your creativity and the love of watching others work with their creativity – it sounds and feels like you are in the perfect place and most certainly on purpose.

Regarding relationships, you mention that ‘you have been told’ you are a lovely man. It is very important that you ‘feel’ you are a lovely man. It is how you feel about yourself that creates your truth, the opinions of others are just that – opinions. So, as long as others see you as special but you can’t see the same you may be challenged to finding the relationship you wish for. Start seeing the loveliness in yourself – continue loving what you do and the relationships you are currently forming with others and the special lady you seek will arrive. One word of caution, there is no such thing as perfect in this human journey – be careful your expectations are not so high as to disallow the human side of this lady to emerge and exist. The same goes for the expectation of perfection in you. Allow the mistakes and you allow the lessons. Thank you for the email and I wish you all the best.

Dear Sharyn,

I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years. We usually see each other every 2nd weekend. He wants me to move from my home that I have lived in, renovated myself, and raised my children in for the past 23 years. I paid for this house myself and only have one year left to pay. At first it was that I could sell my house and the money go into an account for my retirement. Fine. My fear was that if I did this and then our relationship did not work out, then I am stuck buying another house and making payments because whatever I would make off my house would not be enough to buy another house outright. Then it was that I could rent my house out and if didn't work out I still would have my house. Either way, all my furniture and belongings would go into storage because he lives in an older trailer and does not have the room for them. I feel like I'm giving up all of me and he has to give up nothing and I have brought this point up to him numerous times but he doesn't seem to understand where I am coming from. He thinks that if I love him that all of this shouldn't matter. I feel that it's not fair that I have to give up my home (regardless whether I sell it or rent it), I am no longer near my boys (I will be 3 hours away), I have to give up my cat because he has 2 cats and a dog and my cat doesn't like any competition what so ever. And he doesn't have to give up anything.

For the past 6 months, he has made excuses to not come down to my place on his weekends. He's been at my place once in the last 6 months but I'm always more than welcome to come up there. I started to resent it because I was doing all the driving, I was paying all the gas and he had to do nothing. He always cooked for me, and paid for things if we went out where as before I always tried to pay for some stuff to make it like a 50/50 relationship. He would phone me every day and tell me he loved me.

Anyways about 4 weeks ago I was up at his place and his cell phone rang and he went into the kitchen to answer it and he looked at it, hit some button and said to me that it was some telemarketer. Which is fine but I just got this feeling. Later that week I was playing on my computer and I don't know why but I went on these dating web sites and went searching for him. I found him on a couple and I was shocked. I was hurt. And it felt like my heart had been ripped out. I asked why he was on these different web sites looking for women and he said he wasn't looking for anyone else. He would never admit to be that he was on these sites. I joined one under a false name and started talking to him, and he gave me his email address and we talked through there. Me trying to pick him up just for sex and he gave me his work cell number and his home address. (Mean while he had closed his accounts on the dating web sites) As soon as he gave me his cell number and home address I quit talking to him.

I mailed him back his house key. And sent him an email saying that I just couldn’t believe that he would do this crap, hurt me the way he did and then lie about it. I gave him a chance to come clean and be honest about everything but he said he was clean. He still doesn't know it was me that was talking to him via the web site.

This past week was really hard on me and I was on the verge of tears all the time. He had sent me an email telling me that he had received his key and he said, "if only you hadda moved here". Friday night I phoned him and asked him if all of this was my entire fault because I had not moved up there. Is that why he was looking for someone else? He said he wasn't really looking for someone else, it was just a game to him, and that he loved me. I asked him if he had given his phone number out or house address and he said no. I said it would be best if he thought it over just for a few minutes longer and then he said he wasn't really sure. He didn't remember doing it. I said I knew for a fact that he had. He just said oh. He never asked how I knew or anything.

So now he talks like nothing has happened. I do love him, but I feel so betrayed and so hurt. He swears that he has not slept with any one else since he's been going out with me, and for some strange reason I do believe him on that part. But he lied to me for one and now I'm not sure how many lies he's actually told to me. I'm questioning everything when I think about different things. Like did he really mean that when he said that or did he lie about that as well, etc. He wanted me to go up and see him yesterday and we would talk about everything but I had other plans which was good because I don't know how I can trust him again. I don't know if we can work this out. I don't know if I will ever get over this hurt. If I can do all this stuff and we get back to where we were, how do we make this a relationship which I feel would be more fair to me. I would need him to make me an offer I couldn't refuse but I don't know what that would be. Please can you help me?

~ Roberta ~

Hi Roberta,

First of all, thank you Roberta for writing an email and asking questions that are being asked the world over due to the many Internet connections being formed. They are creating a new dynamic of long distance relationships that have a completely different element of communication and commitment than those where people meet face to face. Intuition assists us when we feel at risk and vulnerable, and your email suggests that your risk level is very high. It also suggests you are quite lonely and will do whatever you have to try and salvage a relationship with someone who has already proven to be unreliable and uncommitted to you. For you to alter your life just to accommodate his needs, and in the process ignore your own needs would be impractical. Your responsibility is not to see to his happiness but to see to your own happiness. So, lets see if I have this right.

First you must give up the home you cherish that is not an economic burden and almost paid off. Second, you must give up your beloved feline companion due to incompatibility with his pets. Third, you would be farther away from your sons whom you now have close access to. And fourth, and most importantly, you would lock yourself into a relationship where you already feel hurt, unstable and vulnerable to his whims.

My suggestion to you is stay where you are, keep the cat, be close to your sons and their families and let this relationship go. It is not this man’s responsibility to make you happy either, and it certainly doesn’t sound like it is his intention to do so. I cannot speak for another person’s motives, but you sound like your Intuition has been speaking to you about where the danger signs are – perhaps you need to listen closely. There are lessons here for you – learning about the need to be in charge of your own life and happiness being just one of them.

Remember, these are just suggestions, you can be one of the ones who doesn’t come though this type of relationship on the losing end, but rather as a more educated and wiser winner.

Bless you in your journey and in the choices you decide to make.

Sharyn LeMasurier is a psychic counselor and medium and the owner of The Studio Holistic Health Centre in Red Deer. She utilizes her psychic gifts to assist clients in resolving current issues to enable them to influence their own future in a positive way. For more information on Sharyn visit www.thestudiohhc.com.

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